Why is My Toddler Hitting Me?

Why is My Toddler Hitting Me?

Why is My Toddler Hitting Me?

Toddlers hit their parents naturally, but parents always get worried when they do that. Parents always ask why their toddler has been hitting them. The child, which is 12 to 36 months old, is called a toddler. The proper emotional and cognitive development of your toddler starts when they grow one or two years old.

The weight of your toddler increases at this age, and he also starts walking or crawling. This is the developing age of your toddler and they are unable to understand the difference between right and wrong.

The children at this age start observing things, and they are attracted by beautiful colors, pets, and toys. Your toddler hits you because they are possessive and does not want to share their favorite things with others. The toddlers are active, and they give responses very quickly when someone calls them.

According to Dr. Qaisrani, your toddler may start hitting you because of

  • Parent’s harsh behavior
  • Emotions
  • Lack of parent’s attention
  • Communication
  • Natural process

It is a natural process that your toddler hits you. They do that when they want something. Therefore, your toddler does this to communicate and to express their feelings to you. When you do not pay attention to your toddler, then they feel bored, tired, and frustrated.

These feelings produce aggression in your toddler, and due to this aggression, your toddler hits you. You should pay attention to your toddler. You should play games with your toddler and should read stories for them daily.

You should spend more time with your toddler because this is the tender age for them. The toddler feels enthusiastic about the company of other children. The toddler observes their elders and tries to follow their habits. The toddler learns their language from the elders, whether it is good or bad language.

Please don’t use slang language in front of your toddler as they would learn these words and might pronounce them. The toddlers are very stubborn at this age. For example, your toddler is fond of using cell phones, and when you snatch the cell phone from their hands. They would become outraged and might start hitting you.

Why is My Toddler Hitting Me?

The toddlers grow physically and mentally and learn various skills at this age. The toddlers express their feeling of anger, jealousy by hitting their parents. Therefore, it is recommended that you should take care of every need of your toddler for their better behavior.

Your toddler wants to get everything that they like. Therefore, the anger, nature, and habits of your toddler may be inherited from you. For instance, some toddlers are very aggressive, naughty, stubborn, active, but some toddlers are not violent, disobedient, stubborn, and vigorous. Your toddler might hide their feelings and fear from you, so you should spend much time with your toddler.

Parent’s harsh behavior

You might give a sharp response to your toddler when they hit you. Your toddler is not able to understand the complete meaning of what you said in front of them. Parents often yell at their toddlers when they hit them. When your toddler hits you, you might get angry and hit your toddler back. When you yell at your toddler, your toddler does not understand your language.

Some parents hit toddlers badly and sometimes force them strictly to sit in one place. This action of parents towards toddlers produce fear in the toddler. A toddler does not stop hitting others after hitting and yelling by parents because the toddler does not understand the meaning and action of their parents.

You might punish your toddler when they hit you. You must not punish your toddler if they behave in a wrong manner. Find the reasons why your toddler is acting like this. Your toddler hits you when they need something from you. Therefore, treat your toddler with lenient and decent behavior.


This age of your toddler is the developing and learning stage. Your toddler has no control over their feelings. Your toddler suffers from aggression, fatigue, frustration, fear, jealousy at this age. Sometimes your toddler hits when they are angry because they are not sure how to manage their feelings ethically. Your toddler does not know how to behave with elders and youngers.

Impulse control is deficient in your toddler, and they do not know how to control it. Parents often ask the way to control aggression in toddlers. When your toddler is scared they might start hitting you, your toddler shows the sign that they are suffering from fear. When your toddler is fed up or distressed, they start hitting parents or siblings.

You distract the attention of your toddler when they are crying or hitting someone. You should try to understand the emotions of your toddlers. Your toddler feels jealousy when you play or make love with another child. For example, if you are playing with another child, then your toddler would start hitting and biting that child with which you are playing.

Your toddler expresses their fear and feelings by doing other things. They might start thumb sucking when they are scared. These actions of your toddler also indicate that they want to hide their feelings. It is recommended that you try to give everything that your toddler wants so that it does not suffer from aggression, frustration, fear, and jealousy. Here is a detailed guide on dealing with toddlers who have autism.

Your toddler can start hitting you because of Lack of parent’s attention

You may not spend time with your toddler, and you may be neglecting your toddler due to your job. The children are emotionally attached to their parents. Your toddler feels relaxed and joyful when they spend time with you. You might stay busy in your work and do not give time to your toddler, and you might leave your children to the maids for the whole day.

The maids do not give love and attention to the toddlers, and this increased anger in the toddlers. Every child wants attention from their parents. They feel excited when their parents play with them and spend much time as they wish. Therefore, don’t leave your toddler alone and spend time with them

When your toddler sees you after a day, they express their feelings by hitting you. Your toddler can also express their joy by hitting you. You should take your toddler to the parks and then play various games with them. This would remove all the frustration, aggression, fear from your toddler. You should give them toys according to their interest so that they feel happy.

You should admire your toddler for their decent behavior. You should reward them and encourage their behavior. This would bring happiness in your toddler, and then your toddler would stop hitting you.


Your one- or two-year-old toddler does not understand the language, and they do not even know how to speak a complete sentence. When your toddler feels tired, bored, and hungry, they start hitting you or starts crying to convey their message. The toddlers can send their message in one or two words. They are just able to say these words, “mama,” “baba,” and many other words that parents do not understand.

When your toddler talks with you and you do not understand their language, then they might get angry and irritated. Due to this, they could start biting and hitting you. Your toddler may be weak at their verbal skills to express their emotions, and this makes them angry.

Therefore, your toddler uses their body language to express their emotions. You should teach your toddlers how to pronounce words. When you pronounce words, your toddler focuses on the movement of your lips and then tries to utter these words. If your toddler wants to drink water, then teach them to pronounce the word “water.”

Natural process

It is a natural process that your toddler hits you. Every toddler at this age suffers from aggression, fear, and when this stage passes, the child automatically becomes an average person. This is the learning stage of a toddler, and he tries to deal with his emotions. So, it is a natural process, and not only your toddler behaves like this as every toddler behaves like this.

Your toddler hits you when they want to get something or want to say something. You should not worry about the behavior of your toddler because it is a natural process. When your toddler grows up, his frustration, anger, behavior will improve. He will learn the way to control his feelings or to express his emotions. Your toddler hits you due to an emotional mess, and they do not know how to wipe out this mess. 

Your toddler is curious at this age, and they want to get everything. The toddlers are often fond of using mobile phones, and they want to play with every toy. If a toddler is playing with a toy and your toddler sees that toy. Your toddler would try to get that toy from that toddler, and he might hit that toddler to get that toy.

Therefore, don’t punish and shout at your toddler when they hit you. You must talk to them and tell them stories according to their interest. Never force them to follow your strict rules. You should never donate a lecture to your toddler. Always try to be friendly and supportive of your children.

You should trust your child because they are a blessing. If you will be kind to them, and they will improve their behavior in the future.

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